While this post may err on the lazy side I prefer to look at it from more the creative side. Ha. Y'all I just don't know. There are no less than five posts running through my teeny tiny brain at the moment and at least that many drafts sitting in that folder on my desk. I just can't seem to pull the thoughts cohesively together from my notes, the journal and my Bible margins. Go figure. I never before thought of myself as scatter brain but today that is exactly how I feel. So for now and because I do feel the pull to put something on this blank page we have a list of five. Five what you ask? Well, that remains to be seen. Keep reading.
1. Rocking my world right now is this question, "what is your one thing?". And while I don't think it is necessary to have that one thing it seems like a valid inquiry. I mean, from the spiritual side, we are all gifted in some way and all differently, right? He has created us in His image. How after years of not understanding that do you suddenly change the game and long to know? From a practical view point, I am not the bread winner of the family. Thus allowing some leeway and freedom in this arena. There is no money pressure. Although, bonus to be doing what I love and was created for and bringing home some cash because of it! Score. Essentially at the heart of all of this nonsensical debating I've been doing with myself lately is the deepest desire to be in God's will. Right in the middle of that, doing exactly what He has planned for me. And I guess maybe I am. Only I really hadn't fore casted the whole pre-school sports coach gig and I'm not sure I'm in love with that position. Make sense? Yeah, I don't know that I've really wrapped my head around it either.
2. Parenting is hard. Really? Yes and yes and then throw in another affirmative YES. Husband Jared and I were reminiscing recently about the younger days of our Things. We were bone tired. I did not fully comprehend the depth of that expression until I became a mother myself. Those early days were filled with the constant meeting of needs for survival. Pouring out love and kisses and band aids and cleaning the kitchen 5 times a day because they are always hungry, sitting in the rocking chair as the moon rises and whispering into their ears. These days of parenting teenagers is a different season, yes, but uniquely draining. Just as we turn the corner with one, another is right behind with their very own challenge. When we make the choice and parent the heart and not the behavior we feel weird. When we choose to stray from the culture and live outside the norm, we feel weird. Being weird is not easy, but it is where we feel lead to be. In no way do we do it right each and every time, and for those days we cling to the grace given to us so freely. Again and again.
3. I have been catching glimpses of myself in each of the four Things lately. In either their expressions or actions. Maybe in their frustration or excitement. Often in what they say to one another or to me. Yesterday it was standing in the dressing room with the three girl Things and each one of them walking out with an article of clothing they were trying. One look into those eyes and they didn't have to say anything. I knew. I had been there. I remember the exhilaration of thinking, this works, it's good, or absolutely not and moving on to the next and then the next. Nonetheless it is like looking in a mirror for me. Sometimes on my best days and others at my worst. These moments are for teaching me. Revealing my desperate need for One greater than myself. How grateful I am.
4. My wanderlust has been getting the better of me these days. The need to travel, to be exploring and learning about someplace new has the power to consume my time. Whether it be looking through guide books for far off places or searching the Internet for day trips within our very own state, that excites me. I can even plan, write and live the excursion out in my head, without even going, it most definitely is not the same. I love the limitless possibilities of life on holiday. A new café discovered through a chat with a local, an unexpected nature trail or a hidden historic gem, maybe an old library or an industrial museum, a random garden in the middle of a city, a ride on public transportation, a walk through an abandoned park. No plans, no itinerary.
Just pure unadulterated possibility and opportunity.
5. For the last of the list I leave with you a quote that I find myself staring at while I sit at my desk. Thing 2 wrote it beautifully and artistically in captivating colors and it is pinned to my cork board in the hopes of reminding us six. Here it is, and I pray that it causes you pause as you go about your day.
Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier,
be the living expression of God's kindness:
kindness in your face,
kindness in your eyes,
kindness in your smile.