My Things know the phrase well, "I'm done". They have heard it countless times, still hear it. Not quite as often these days. But on those days when their hands were little and the questions constant and this Mama was worn thin inside and out they heard those words.
How those words cut deep. Just when the mountain was so big and just when the patience thin and the words weren't right they slithered out on my lips. A warning if you will. Of what? I'm sure they did not know. I'm fairly certain that I didn't even know. The Mama that followed that statement was not reflective of grace based parenting I'm sure.
Yet here I am. Umpteen years later of parenting and we still stand. A family of six. I can't ever take back those words though and that still stings. Words strung together and delivered can never be redone. And thank the Lord, no really, THANK THE LORD, that He is never done with us. He continues to pursue us. When we are done, He isn't. Not ever. Despite, or maybe in spite of us, He presses on. Until He deems it finished we are not.
Today that echoes in my soul. It comforts and soothes and provides a salve.
In the chaos here of these six there is a constant stream of words. On a Monday morning an unhappy girl doesn't hug back and my feelings are hurt and I use sarcasm to mask that, to make light of the situation. Her sister throws ugliness out at her and that unhappy teenager oozes sarcasm to cover the wound. A boy sleepy and unhappy with breakfast choices lays his head down at the table grumbling and this Mama ups her tone to emphasize the need for this first meal of the day. One more coming through the kitchen eyes barely open, no words there and we all shuffle about our day. They leave with a wave and I'm left in tears knowing I didn't make any souls stronger.
Here's what I know now. He's not done and neither am I. New mercies everyday and if He's willing a new morning to try it all again. So I'm called to what really should be the first of the day, the Living Bread and there I find it. Proverbs. Words imparted from Solomon. A guide to living a worthy life. There I find truth and instruction and that is where I start. And once again where I thank the Lord that He isn't done and neither am I.
The first passage I come to, Proverbs 4:24;
"Put away perversity from your mouth;keep corrupt talk from your lips".
Then Proverbs 10:11;
"The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked."
And my favorite, Proverbs 16:24
"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."