Four Months In And A Collective Sigh...Ugh
Anyone else feeling the general fatigue of the times we find ourselves in? Yeah, me too. I didn't want to subscribe to that phrase or sentiment, but let me tell you it is real. Or at least for me, it is. We have reached the four month mark stateside and I have so many thoughts and emotions. Seriously.
To begin with, I find myself missing the little things about Wien. The way classical music would pour out of apartment windows as I was walking through our district. In Vienna, open windows signaled Spring and the concerts as I paraded through the city. Being the music capital of the world, or at least one of, I was fortunate enough to experience musician's practice. Which to my untrained ears was symphonic. Thus the concert reference. Truly, this was such a gift. I found myself stopping, mid stroll, craning my neck and pausing to drink it in. The stops and starts. Misplayed notes, off key melodies, although I wouldn't be the one to ask. I am not musically inclined, in the least.
The little thing that tipped the scale for me, even prior to the window prompting, our neighbor sending me a photo of her most recent baked creation. She sent a photo with the message, "Just for a second...I thought to bring these up". Cue the tears. My goodness. A little thing but nonetheless a point of connection. A sense of belonging. Two foreign families, living in the same building, at completely different stages of life. And yet, there we were. Now, an ocean between us and the messages still poignant. I had the same thought to leave a jar of my granola on their doorstep.
The European life style, not necessarily a little thing, but a mindset that tends to creep into all the little things I notice. Recycling made easy, little thing. Composting in our apartment, little thing. No plastic bags, little thing.
A WhatsApp message from a friend sharing her walk in the vineyard with me, little thing. But to my heart, no such value assignment. These are what matters.
Another little thing, sparkling water in 1L bottles and a six pack of said bottles that costs less than 2 Euros.
A walk from our apartment to the Ubahn. Public transportation in general and train rides where time is marked by the number of pages I've read. Or the podcast I had listened to.
One last little thing: water taps and spouts throughout the city. These potable water "pumps" are everywhere and so convenient for locals and tourists alike. Have a refillable water bottle? Just stop and fill it up. No charge. Not to mention, one of the top cities in the world for drinking water!
Now, for life here. In America.
There was the fourth of July. That event is top of mind today, so we'll begin with that. We protested. We didn't celebrate with fireworks or singing the National Anthem. It was all surreal.
Then there is Thing 4's decision to return to Austria and pursue his football career and establish a life for himself there. Makes sense. And we fully support him in this endeavor.
Thing 3 recently moved into her own apartment, well, with a roommate, but nonetheless her own space. So in less than seven weeks Husband Jared and I will find ourselves living as empty nesters. Something I was, or rather, am not prepared for. Just yet.
What else? Husband Jared has now been working from home for sixteen weeks now, over one full fiscal quarter and there is no sign of a return to "normal business".
We've marched in two protests, danced in the streets in Nashville and participated in public policy hearings and email campaigns. We are all learning so much.
I've found a recycling center not too far from our apartment. It requires driving to drop off said recyclables, but I am alright with that.
I recently noticed a small community garden one block over from us. There is a sign posted on the perimeter inviting one and all to take what you need, and then a number is listed to call if you'd like to assist with watering and planting. I am here for that. So sweet and intentional. It looks like there might even be a fire pit and play area. Made my heart incredibly happy. I love digging in the dirt.
In other news, we're considering adopting a dog. Well, more like a small horse, actually. I have wanted a great dane for longer than I can remember. Husband Jared has acquiesced and I've been on the lookout.
I will be returning to university after twenty-ish years, in just three short weeks I can call myself a student again. In the formal sense that is. I try to remain posed for learning every day, life has an incredible capacity for teaching if we're open to receiving her wisdom.
During this time there have been countless walks and hikes around the city and her surrounding areas. A short road trip to Asheville for a night, including local breweries and new trails discovered. We've been discriminately entering into social situations or picking up take away for dinner, finding and supporting Black owned businesses in our community, walking to the coffee shops in our neighborhood and discovering patio seating for local restaurants, of course those that are following social distancing guidelines and practicing the upmost of cleaning procedures.
The feelings are raw and real, yet through it all we're finding ourselves working hard to remain, "awkward, brave and kind" as Brene Brown instructs us to be. Same to you and yours.
To begin with, I find myself missing the little things about Wien. The way classical music would pour out of apartment windows as I was walking through our district. In Vienna, open windows signaled Spring and the concerts as I paraded through the city. Being the music capital of the world, or at least one of, I was fortunate enough to experience musician's practice. Which to my untrained ears was symphonic. Thus the concert reference. Truly, this was such a gift. I found myself stopping, mid stroll, craning my neck and pausing to drink it in. The stops and starts. Misplayed notes, off key melodies, although I wouldn't be the one to ask. I am not musically inclined, in the least.
The little thing that tipped the scale for me, even prior to the window prompting, our neighbor sending me a photo of her most recent baked creation. She sent a photo with the message, "Just for a second...I thought to bring these up". Cue the tears. My goodness. A little thing but nonetheless a point of connection. A sense of belonging. Two foreign families, living in the same building, at completely different stages of life. And yet, there we were. Now, an ocean between us and the messages still poignant. I had the same thought to leave a jar of my granola on their doorstep.
The European life style, not necessarily a little thing, but a mindset that tends to creep into all the little things I notice. Recycling made easy, little thing. Composting in our apartment, little thing. No plastic bags, little thing.
A WhatsApp message from a friend sharing her walk in the vineyard with me, little thing. But to my heart, no such value assignment. These are what matters.
Another little thing, sparkling water in 1L bottles and a six pack of said bottles that costs less than 2 Euros.
A walk from our apartment to the Ubahn. Public transportation in general and train rides where time is marked by the number of pages I've read. Or the podcast I had listened to.
One last little thing: water taps and spouts throughout the city. These potable water "pumps" are everywhere and so convenient for locals and tourists alike. Have a refillable water bottle? Just stop and fill it up. No charge. Not to mention, one of the top cities in the world for drinking water!
Now, for life here. In America.
There was the fourth of July. That event is top of mind today, so we'll begin with that. We protested. We didn't celebrate with fireworks or singing the National Anthem. It was all surreal.
Then there is Thing 4's decision to return to Austria and pursue his football career and establish a life for himself there. Makes sense. And we fully support him in this endeavor.
Thing 3 recently moved into her own apartment, well, with a roommate, but nonetheless her own space. So in less than seven weeks Husband Jared and I will find ourselves living as empty nesters. Something I was, or rather, am not prepared for. Just yet.
What else? Husband Jared has now been working from home for sixteen weeks now, over one full fiscal quarter and there is no sign of a return to "normal business".
We've marched in two protests, danced in the streets in Nashville and participated in public policy hearings and email campaigns. We are all learning so much.
I've found a recycling center not too far from our apartment. It requires driving to drop off said recyclables, but I am alright with that.
I recently noticed a small community garden one block over from us. There is a sign posted on the perimeter inviting one and all to take what you need, and then a number is listed to call if you'd like to assist with watering and planting. I am here for that. So sweet and intentional. It looks like there might even be a fire pit and play area. Made my heart incredibly happy. I love digging in the dirt.
In other news, we're considering adopting a dog. Well, more like a small horse, actually. I have wanted a great dane for longer than I can remember. Husband Jared has acquiesced and I've been on the lookout.
I will be returning to university after twenty-ish years, in just three short weeks I can call myself a student again. In the formal sense that is. I try to remain posed for learning every day, life has an incredible capacity for teaching if we're open to receiving her wisdom.
During this time there have been countless walks and hikes around the city and her surrounding areas. A short road trip to Asheville for a night, including local breweries and new trails discovered. We've been discriminately entering into social situations or picking up take away for dinner, finding and supporting Black owned businesses in our community, walking to the coffee shops in our neighborhood and discovering patio seating for local restaurants, of course those that are following social distancing guidelines and practicing the upmost of cleaning procedures.
The feelings are raw and real, yet through it all we're finding ourselves working hard to remain, "awkward, brave and kind" as Brene Brown instructs us to be. Same to you and yours.
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