No Longer a Teenager!

 William,

Our man child. Today you are Twenty. Two. Zero. No teens. Another decade lived and a new stage of adulthood. Whoa. Once again you celebrated this day in Vienna, without us and surrounded by your people there. I am grateful for those people. I miss you dearly and I am confident you are exactly where you are meant to be. 

What a year 2021 has been. Another shoulder surgery. Yes, same arm, nearly the same incident. Only this time your procedure was done in Vienna. Thank goodness for Sarah, your caretaker and translator throughout the entire process. She sent updates and photos, both of which did wonders for my Mama's heart. You've recently signed with a new football club, ASV 13. This is exciting news! You spent the month of July stateside. Catching up with friends and spending loads of time with family. Embarking on a quick road trip with Alex and reconnecting and training with an old friend. Sarah and you spent a weekend at a therme, quite the experience. Or at least I assume so from the FaceTime call and the photos you shared. Seemed like a rather posh resort. Apparently you are back on your skateboard, which I am not all that thrilled about. The work situation remains the same and while Dad and I were in Vienna in October we were able to witness you in this element. Where the goods are packed, the shipping hub and all the behind the scenes magic. What a privilege that was. We also watched you on the pitch. Running with abandon. Dominating the ball. Creating plays and space. Mostly though we noticed the belief in yourself and the renewed passion you were playing with. It was tangible. You found yourself on the other side of the pitch for the first time since refereeing. Whoa. Coach Will. The middle school team at ICSV hired you as their head coach. What a season it was, with COVID restrictions and an unpredictable schedule. As the coach, you were managing parents, tween-age kids and everything in between. How rewarding and stretching and difficult and wonderful. For Dad and I, we were thrilled to be able to see you at the touch line. Hands behind your back. Encouraging your players. Projecting your voice to offer options and ideas. Clapping along for the choices made, or maybe in hopes of motivating a different outcome. A parent of one of your players and a dear friend of mine shared their perspective on you in this role. It was positive and filled with accolades for the connection you established with each of your players. The way in which you spurred them on and of course for your direct nature of communication. I received those words and I must say I was proud. I am proud of you. 

As an aside, you and Sarah were gifted a television recently. I remember you calling us after said purchase and sharing your thoughts on this electronic wonder now hanging on the wall in your apartment. To begin with, I do think your tele might be larger than ours. Anyhow, you told us how "grown up" you felt. Having your own television. Hanging it on the wall by yourself. Being responsible for the programs you choose to watch. Etcetera, etcetera. While a seemingly insignificant milestone, I thought it was rather interesting the feelings this purchase evoked. Life surprises like that sometimes. Whether it be a television, first apartment, a doctor's appointment we drive ourselves to, the first time we travel alone or pay a utility bill. Welcome to adulting William Jared. 

In your last year you have no doubt navigated countless transitions, learned more about friendship and true connection, unraveled a belief system you were born into, looked deep into your values and mined through the messiness of living a bold, unapologetic life. Bravo. And big exhale. This, I imagine, will be a recurring theme for the remainder of your years. How beautiful. Friendships were strengthened, challenged. Some faded away. Others reemerged. The self discovery continues. 

In this year of twenty I am most looking forward to watching you grow. For learning and unlearning, becoming and unbecoming. Your soul is beautiful and tender and evergreen. Tend to it this year ahead. Take time to be spontaneous. To rest. To read and listen closely. Stay bold. Use your voice for those that cannot. Or those that are not heard. Advocate for yourself and those you love. Stay connected. Do not   betray YOU. 

For all left unsaid, unshared. The moments guarded and for you alone. I toast you and this new decade with a poem. Because, as I've said before, there are times when someone else's words say it best. This might just be one of those times. 

Rumi's Little Book of Life:

The senses are tools of the mind 

and the mind is the tool of the Spirit.

When the mind becomes confused, it is 

Spirit that brings back clarity and harmony.

Our desires and thoughts spread over the soul 

as weeds spread over the surface of a pond.

The ego thrives in muddy water while 

the mind needs clarity and transparency. 

Let the mind become the master 

and the senses its obedient servants.

A master who puts his senses to sleep is able 

to perceive the unseen emerging from Spirit.

Even in his waking state he dreams, 

dreams that open the gates to Divine Truth.

And one from Nikita Gill, because the words feel like a manifestation for your upcoming year of twenty...

Hymn For The Future

May you always know pain 

as temporary and laughter better.

May the universe bless you

with the perseverance to try harder.

May you build a kinder history

than the ruins you were given.

May the greatest gift you receive be more 

than just a life, but a life where the world is safer,

a life so full of love and joy 

that it is worth living. 

I love you so,

Machupichu x