Re-Entry: Part Two

Well, this has been such an interesting time to return to the States.  An unprecedented pandemic that is spreading fear and mayhem, closing borders and wiping out the toilet paper supply.  Who could have guessed?  New hashtags are emerging, #socialdistancing, #quarantini, and yes, I am participating in a documentation via social media of our time with #onedayCV.  It’s all strange and weird and I just don’t know how else to describe it.  I have felt out of sorts since our two eldest left Vienna in January after our Christmas holiday together.  And now, in the midst of all this I cried upon seeing tulips in the floral department at Trader Joes.  Hmm.  They were lovely tulips, a wide array of colors and they were displayed to grab your attention.  And that they did.  So much so that I stopped and tears fell.  Tulips remind me of Vienna.  For 2,49€ a small bunch of tulips would make their way to my vase with every market visit.  Sometimes two or three.  Tulips also remind me of my dear friend Karen, whom is Dutch, but that is not the only reason for the association.  I let the tears come, I chose different flowers, actually eucalyptus stems, and I continued on with my shopping.  Welcome to re-entry.  

It will be three weeks on the 24th of March since our arrival.  Yesterday the county we are living in was placed on lockdown.  In other words, all the regulations most other people are facing now.  Six feet social distancing, no unnecessary trips to stores, non essential businesses are closed, including restaurants and cafes, except for take away or delivery orders, and no traveling.  Schools have been closed since early March but the other issuances were late to the party.  We had a family meeting and discussed exactly what this means and I will be honest, it’s a bit tricky having two daughters living in their own apartment.  Are they even allowed to come to our place to do their laundry?  Sounds selfish, I know, but I could definitely justify this as “essential”.  So there are questions but mostly we are all trying our best to err on the side of caution, washing our hands diligently, more than before, only purchasing what we need, sharing what we have and social distancing ourselves with the best of them.  

My heart is breaking though for those that aren’t paid for this mandatory shut down.  The food industry, service workers, those in the travel business.  And then there are those that don’t have access to the digital capabilities to remain connected, working from home, or engaged in community.  Yes.  This is devastating on so many levels.  It also shifts my focus and awareness around the global community.  How connected we truly are.  Those that aren’t safe and warm inside.  People that don’t have access to healthcare, or even the ability to make a quick run to the store for groceries.  Refugees in camps that are barely sufficient to be called camps.  I do not want to lose sight of how this affects humanity, everyone and everywhere.  Our family is now talking about what we can do.  Creative ways to help.  Even something as simple as smiling at a stranger or thanking the cashier at our local market.  These things matter.  

Before our departure a friend of mine shared her theory on moving and adjusting.  To put it succinctly, her words of wisdom were to allow yourself to experience all four seasons in the new place.  Live through the seasons and then assess.  So that is what I am committed to.  Four seasons.  We’ll be beginning with Spring considering we just celebrated the Equinox and the rain has been constant here in middle TN.  Excuse the aside.  Anyhow, these thoughts around the seasons have forced me to consider how seasons come and go, observing a rhythm and serving as a reminder to the world around us.  This then caused me to consider the different rhythms and such surrounding me now. Curious, right?  Those often obscure or unnoticeable behaviors, patterns, or things that cause the mind and heart to awaken and recognize the pricking taking place.  Much like the tulips.  

I have found myself to be sensitive to the noise level here.  I am not speaking of city noise, traffic or the like.  But actual people in public places making their business known to all.  Mostly I don’t want to know.  I prefer to conjure up stories in my mind, unbeknownst to anyone else.  But here, where most of the time I can understand all that is being said, thank you English language, it is almost as if people are inviting you into their private conversation.  No thank you.  We experienced this in Vienna as well.  There was a common saying, “You can hear the Americans before you can see them”.  Yes, I am an American.  I always will be.  And yes, I am guilty of an elevated decibel while speaking, goodness our family includes six people.  Our whisper is loud.  I am simply stating it is loud here.  In all the ways.  

Maybe this doesn’t exactly qualify as a difference rather a personal experience but I’d like to share it here anyway.  Our apartment hunting has been all consuming.  We’re preparing for our goods to arrive mid-April and given the circumstances, insert: all the things, we feel as though it is in our best interest to move this process forward expediently.  I’ve researched, apartments.com, Zillow, Hotpads, all the housing sites available to me.  Then I contact the property manager, listing agent, private party and prior to our lockdown, I would schedule a tour or if we were in the area we would walk in to the complex in hopes of having our questions answered.  

One such apartment building that I had difficulty connecting with but was in a fantastic location, refused to see us.  Jared and I walked in inquiring about specific units available according to our timeline.  We were asked for our drivers licenses, standard procedure, and then told they needed to ask us a few questions.  Assuming these would be the typical, move in date, specific amenities we wanted, etc., we obliged and sat down in preparation.  Well, the conversation quickly turned and we were asked if we had traveled in the last forty five days, then we were questioned as to where we had been.  Upon answering truthfully and explaining that we had recently relocated from Austria, the “manager” became involved and promptly asked us to leave, siting a recently issued corporate policy on tours.  Ahem.  Here is where Jared and I used every ounce of patience and reasonable discourse attempting to explain how this could be seen as discriminatory and unfair.  Their replies seemed ignorant at best, and rude without a doubt.  As I am sharing this story, please do not misinterpret my motive.  This was our personal experience.  A privileged perspective, I know.  In our further discussion we requested the property manager’s information to contact her directly and then we were ignored following multiple voice mails and emails.  It was, for us, one of those incidences we couldn’t allow to pass without speaking up. 

On a lighter note.  Our current corporate housing is near the Parthenon and Centennial Park, a beautiful location.  We have taken to walking regularly there and running to and from.  During our outings multiple people, strangers, have waved, said hello or acknowledged us with a head nod.  Kind.  This might seem like a no brainer or expected pleasantries but I refuse to take it for granted.  It felt like encouragement.  Recognizing a fellow human and silently or not, cheering them on in their venture.  Even if that venture was a walk around a serene pond.  Another gesture of kindness occurred in our apartment building.  The kids were out in the hallway and two fellow residents stopped and asked them if we needed any items from the store.   While we were stocked and didn’t require anything in that moment I was reminded of just how meaningful an offering like that can mean to someone.  Me, in particular.  

While this all seems overwhelming at times for me I know it will pass.  Or not.  Either way, like I shared in part one, I am here for it.  All of it.  And this beautiful moment reconnecting with a long time friend was one I am grateful I was here for.  She and I had met at a park back in the days when I lived at parks with our four littles.  Her exuberant personality radiated and the kindness she exuded spoke volumes to me, as I was a new transplant to the area.  We shared stories, introduced our children and became friends.  Over the years our paths have crossed in TN.  We have found that we’re able to pick up as if no time has passed, diving deep into the good stuff without wasting time.  I so appreciate that.  She accompanied me to an event for Glennon Doyle’s new book, “Untamed”.  Mind you, this was before the social distancing and all public gatherings were cancelled.  Just wanted to clarify.  Her hug welcomed me home in immeasurable ways.  And it was so good.  The entire night.  I have found in these recent years that bypassing small talk and fluff is important to me.  I don’t want to waste time acquiescing or pretending.  Give it to me real and honest.  That is exactly what this friend does, even when we disagree.  What a gift.  

So there’s a rainbow on this grey day, for me at least.  Silver linings and all that.  I’ll continue to search for them amidst all the surreal, unknown and scary in these unprecedented times.  Otherwise referred to as re-entry.