To The Eldest Thing

This morning when I woke I felt keenly aware of the significance of this day.  My eldest daughter is turning eighteen.  Eighteen years ago I was in a hospital room waiting for her arrival; Profoundly unaware of just how much my world was about to change.  Her entrance into our lives set me on a trajectory that could only have been orchestrated by our Father in heaven and for that I am beyond grateful.  With that, here are a few words for the birthday girl, or should I say, woman.  

You my sweet girl are my sunshine.  And this last year I have watched you bloom as you've pressed into the Word, leaned not on your own understanding but His and trusted in ways I am not sure that I would have.  Boldly you have stepped out in faith even when you didn't want to.  That has been nothing short of pure joy to witness.  

It is a strange place to be as a parent, bittersweet has never rang more true for me.  I remember fondly the days of you being a little.  Your curly hair bouncing as you ran circles around me.  Those big hazel eyes boring holes into my heart as you asked for another book, one more song or just a little more time.  Days when your stubbornness got the better of both of us.  The time your door was taken off it's hinges because "privacy is a privilege".  Watching you make new friends and try to make sense of changes.  Leading your team as goal keeper or striker on the pitch and being able to walk away knowing it was just a game.  Listening to you giggle with friends late into the night, make movies with your babysitters and siblings.  And always sharing the truth and matter of fact-ness with  anyone who doubted.  Now,  I am able to watch you revealing your heart to your peers, offering your story to the world and preparing to step into all that He has created you to be.  Forging friendships and developing your belief system and values as you enter adulthood.  This is pure joy and a gift I do not ever want to take for granted.  I am grateful to be your Mama.  

Always have been and always will be.  

So, bittersweet is this season.  More sweet than bitter for sure.  (Big Head Todd lyrics there)  I pray that this year of eighteen is full to overflowing with continual refilling from the Holy Spirit.  I pray that as you learn more of how Christ sees you that you become more; That your purpose and gifting is made clear to you.  I pray that you always know that you are loved, that you know you can always come home and that you will make mistakes.  We all do.  And that is why there is grace.  I pray that not only will our relationship deepen as mother and daughter but will continue as friend and confidant as you navigate adulthood.  I pray for your future.  For your heart.  For your soul.  I love you Thing One and you will always be my sunshine.