Dear William Jared, You Be 17!
My baby, you are seventeen. I remember the Christmas before you entered this world. My belly led the way and most of our conversations centered around your entrance into the world and our early morning appointment. Your sisters were amped with anticipation and not just for Christmas but mostly because of you, their baby brother to be. Not much has changed in that regard. They adore you. From the moment you greeted this great big world it is as though our hearts all grew bigger and the stars shone a bit brighter.
Now here we are, seventeen years later. As those words spill onto the page I can feel a tightening in my chest. Because wow, seventeen years ago we were in a hospital room in Arizona welcoming you into our family and now we are on the brink of adulthood. You came fast and with fury, and that is the way you walk in this world now. This year I feel more urgency in writing to you. A certain weight as our time with you under our roof is passing quickly. I know that our influence and connection won't end but there are multitudes of I'm sorry's and did you know's and don't forget's that I want to share with you. Just the other night we accidentally stumbled upon a few home videos that we didn't even know we had. The first was of you singing Justin Bieber's playground song into a crutch. All by yourself. Like you set up the camera and staged the entire scene on your own. I laughed until I cried and then I cried some more. Another of you in the kitchen in our townhouse in Franklin, camera set on the counter, you standing on a stool so you could be seen, Mema and I talking about dinner in the kitchen and sisters walking in and out of the frame. You continue on, talking, catch phrases here and there, paying no attention at all to the world around you. My son, that is a gift, that singular focus. To be able to block out the noise that surrounds and be yourself. I watched these videos and through my tears couldn't help but think how you are still that same little boy in a growing up, man child's body. You didn't need a stage then and you certainly don't need one now.
This year has been no different, a flurry of activity and transition and new from start to finish. We began the year as residents of a new country. Because of your independent nature and a fearlessness that you possess it wasn't long before you found your way to the concrete pitches and began playing pick up games with the locals and refugees. You fought hard and after several trials with different clubs you were offered a spot on SK Rapid, one of the biggest and most well known clubs here in Austria and with Stadtlau, too. To that I say well done! I am aware it wasn't an easy road, being one of the only English speakers, breaking into a group that has grown up in the academy together, but you did it. You persevered and that counts for more than you know in the character department. You have also stepped up your academic game and made the grades, so to speak. Woo hoo! The year wouldn't be complete without at least a nod to all the travel that was done; An overnight train ride for a quick 24 hours in Switzerland with your sister, a week of training camp with Rapid in Styria, multiple snowboard outings with Jonathan in the Austrian Alps, a weekend in Paris with Dane and the Seraphines, a summer trip to the Netherlands with the Douw family, Salzburg and Prague with Dad and I, Venice, Italy for my birthday, you hosted Alex here and shared your new city with him, Cesky Krumlov with the entire fam and Slovakia a few times. Yes, travel has been an overriding theme of 2018! And what a gift that has been. You've navigated all manner of public transport independently and fared quite well as you and your passport have logged some km. Maintaining friendships has been a priority for you too. Late night face time chats, messaging and making every effort for face to face time has not always been easy but you have put in the time. That speaks to your character as well. With establishing and creating a new friend group here, made of international and third culture kids, the going has been slow. Not what you're accustomed to. And yet, even in that there were lessons to be learned. New ways of communicating and approaching situations, humbling and so important. If I could accurately describe this process I'd say it's been a roller coaster ride. All the highs and lows that are necessary and typical and stretch and grow us. Again, let's put that in the character category. To help with the living in a foreign country and not knowing the language you began semi intensive language classes. There too, you are the anomaly. The youngest student in the class but that hasn't deterred you. In fact, your German is progressing and you are often my spokesperson when we venture out together. I am so thankful.
With you being the only child of four at home the latter half of this year of life has offered another learning curve for us all. Loads of one on one time that was not afforded to your sisters and maybe a bit of smothering too. Wink, wink. We're learning together and missing your sisters together too. Another realization came this year when we were talking timetables. Next year at this time has the potential to look entirely different for you. The upcoming six months will help in determining your whereabouts and opportunities. This has prompted more than a few conversations centered around the "what's next", God's timing and simply doing the next right thing.
Looking back over the last 365 days I have witnessed such growth from you. You're learning and you've been receptive to correction and I respect that about you. You remain as tender hearted as ever and you notice people, I mean really see them, and I pray that never changes. Little ones in our new church family refer to you as "the big guy", and I think that is just the sweetest. Your energy level has not diminished, two speeds, on or off, no in-between. That really is a gift. So as you step into this year of seventeen I pray your intentions for the next 365 days are fulfilled. That your God sized dreams are brought to fruition through shared agency with our God that loves you and champions for you even more so than your Dad and myself. I pray you continue to find ways to serve those around you, within your sphere of influence, and that you remember the best way to be a leader is to be a servant first. I pray the learning never ceases, that at least once or twice this year you surprise yourself, in some way, big or small. I pray for your relationship with Jesus to be taken to an intimate place, completely yours, increasing your faith and love. I pray that you are able to stand firm in who's you are and who you are, always remembering that your worth does not come from any success or performance, but the fact that you are a child of God.
To you I say all this and more. More adventures and more exploring, more loving and dreaming and creating and reading. More football and more playing. More dance parties and more being. Being present and resting and learning and becoming more self aware. More mistakes and failures, after all, they are a stepping stone to learning and a catalyst for change, if allowed to be. You are a gift, one I am grateful for everyday. Shine your light, be bold and don't compromise who you are for the sake of the world. Run your race and stay on the narrow path. Alles Gute zum Geburtstag! Or Happy Birthday, in our mother tongue. Here's to your year of seventeen and all that God has in store for you. I love you more than you know. Lena, xo
Now here we are, seventeen years later. As those words spill onto the page I can feel a tightening in my chest. Because wow, seventeen years ago we were in a hospital room in Arizona welcoming you into our family and now we are on the brink of adulthood. You came fast and with fury, and that is the way you walk in this world now. This year I feel more urgency in writing to you. A certain weight as our time with you under our roof is passing quickly. I know that our influence and connection won't end but there are multitudes of I'm sorry's and did you know's and don't forget's that I want to share with you. Just the other night we accidentally stumbled upon a few home videos that we didn't even know we had. The first was of you singing Justin Bieber's playground song into a crutch. All by yourself. Like you set up the camera and staged the entire scene on your own. I laughed until I cried and then I cried some more. Another of you in the kitchen in our townhouse in Franklin, camera set on the counter, you standing on a stool so you could be seen, Mema and I talking about dinner in the kitchen and sisters walking in and out of the frame. You continue on, talking, catch phrases here and there, paying no attention at all to the world around you. My son, that is a gift, that singular focus. To be able to block out the noise that surrounds and be yourself. I watched these videos and through my tears couldn't help but think how you are still that same little boy in a growing up, man child's body. You didn't need a stage then and you certainly don't need one now.
This year has been no different, a flurry of activity and transition and new from start to finish. We began the year as residents of a new country. Because of your independent nature and a fearlessness that you possess it wasn't long before you found your way to the concrete pitches and began playing pick up games with the locals and refugees. You fought hard and after several trials with different clubs you were offered a spot on SK Rapid, one of the biggest and most well known clubs here in Austria and with Stadtlau, too. To that I say well done! I am aware it wasn't an easy road, being one of the only English speakers, breaking into a group that has grown up in the academy together, but you did it. You persevered and that counts for more than you know in the character department. You have also stepped up your academic game and made the grades, so to speak. Woo hoo! The year wouldn't be complete without at least a nod to all the travel that was done; An overnight train ride for a quick 24 hours in Switzerland with your sister, a week of training camp with Rapid in Styria, multiple snowboard outings with Jonathan in the Austrian Alps, a weekend in Paris with Dane and the Seraphines, a summer trip to the Netherlands with the Douw family, Salzburg and Prague with Dad and I, Venice, Italy for my birthday, you hosted Alex here and shared your new city with him, Cesky Krumlov with the entire fam and Slovakia a few times. Yes, travel has been an overriding theme of 2018! And what a gift that has been. You've navigated all manner of public transport independently and fared quite well as you and your passport have logged some km. Maintaining friendships has been a priority for you too. Late night face time chats, messaging and making every effort for face to face time has not always been easy but you have put in the time. That speaks to your character as well. With establishing and creating a new friend group here, made of international and third culture kids, the going has been slow. Not what you're accustomed to. And yet, even in that there were lessons to be learned. New ways of communicating and approaching situations, humbling and so important. If I could accurately describe this process I'd say it's been a roller coaster ride. All the highs and lows that are necessary and typical and stretch and grow us. Again, let's put that in the character category. To help with the living in a foreign country and not knowing the language you began semi intensive language classes. There too, you are the anomaly. The youngest student in the class but that hasn't deterred you. In fact, your German is progressing and you are often my spokesperson when we venture out together. I am so thankful.
With you being the only child of four at home the latter half of this year of life has offered another learning curve for us all. Loads of one on one time that was not afforded to your sisters and maybe a bit of smothering too. Wink, wink. We're learning together and missing your sisters together too. Another realization came this year when we were talking timetables. Next year at this time has the potential to look entirely different for you. The upcoming six months will help in determining your whereabouts and opportunities. This has prompted more than a few conversations centered around the "what's next", God's timing and simply doing the next right thing.
Looking back over the last 365 days I have witnessed such growth from you. You're learning and you've been receptive to correction and I respect that about you. You remain as tender hearted as ever and you notice people, I mean really see them, and I pray that never changes. Little ones in our new church family refer to you as "the big guy", and I think that is just the sweetest. Your energy level has not diminished, two speeds, on or off, no in-between. That really is a gift. So as you step into this year of seventeen I pray your intentions for the next 365 days are fulfilled. That your God sized dreams are brought to fruition through shared agency with our God that loves you and champions for you even more so than your Dad and myself. I pray you continue to find ways to serve those around you, within your sphere of influence, and that you remember the best way to be a leader is to be a servant first. I pray the learning never ceases, that at least once or twice this year you surprise yourself, in some way, big or small. I pray for your relationship with Jesus to be taken to an intimate place, completely yours, increasing your faith and love. I pray that you are able to stand firm in who's you are and who you are, always remembering that your worth does not come from any success or performance, but the fact that you are a child of God.
To you I say all this and more. More adventures and more exploring, more loving and dreaming and creating and reading. More football and more playing. More dance parties and more being. Being present and resting and learning and becoming more self aware. More mistakes and failures, after all, they are a stepping stone to learning and a catalyst for change, if allowed to be. You are a gift, one I am grateful for everyday. Shine your light, be bold and don't compromise who you are for the sake of the world. Run your race and stay on the narrow path. Alles Gute zum Geburtstag! Or Happy Birthday, in our mother tongue. Here's to your year of seventeen and all that God has in store for you. I love you more than you know. Lena, xo
Comments
Post a Comment