Another Love Post
* Flashback post from November of 2012, never before published
Have you ever felt love actually flow out of you? An outpouring. As I lay in bed with Thing 4 last night that is exactly what happened. He was having trouble sleeping. Restless. Unsettled. I knew exactly how he felt. We've all been there. When our mind won't stop and our thoughts wander and we just can't pinpoint what it is. He tiptoed downstairs. Stood and watched Husband Jared and myself on the sofa. Him reading his newspaper and me enjoying my chocolate chip cookie. Then we heard him. "Please Mama, lay with me". Um yes. Insert lump in my throat now. My heart was softened. There are times, let's say it, usually, that I would give the standard response. I've said prayers, scratched your back, given you water, you NEED to sleep now. Emphasis on the now and more on my need, not theirs. Last night I didn't. I did however finish my cookie, hey I'm only human. Trudged upstairs, opened his door and found Polo laying on the floor and a Thing somewhere under the Man. Utd. covers. His legs scrunched up and his hands over his head. I slid in next to him and began scratching his back. Then to still him I rested my arm over his chest. He stopped. There we lay together. Mother and son. My breathing began to match his and my heart began to ache. Ache in a way so powerful that I felt it physically. Mind you, I am aware I love my children. This was different. While we were there I felt love leave my body. Surreal. Strange. Overwhelming in such a powerful way. A mother's love does run deep.
Have you ever felt love actually flow out of you? An outpouring. As I lay in bed with Thing 4 last night that is exactly what happened. He was having trouble sleeping. Restless. Unsettled. I knew exactly how he felt. We've all been there. When our mind won't stop and our thoughts wander and we just can't pinpoint what it is. He tiptoed downstairs. Stood and watched Husband Jared and myself on the sofa. Him reading his newspaper and me enjoying my chocolate chip cookie. Then we heard him. "Please Mama, lay with me". Um yes. Insert lump in my throat now. My heart was softened. There are times, let's say it, usually, that I would give the standard response. I've said prayers, scratched your back, given you water, you NEED to sleep now. Emphasis on the now and more on my need, not theirs. Last night I didn't. I did however finish my cookie, hey I'm only human. Trudged upstairs, opened his door and found Polo laying on the floor and a Thing somewhere under the Man. Utd. covers. His legs scrunched up and his hands over his head. I slid in next to him and began scratching his back. Then to still him I rested my arm over his chest. He stopped. There we lay together. Mother and son. My breathing began to match his and my heart began to ache. Ache in a way so powerful that I felt it physically. Mind you, I am aware I love my children. This was different. While we were there I felt love leave my body. Surreal. Strange. Overwhelming in such a powerful way. A mother's love does run deep.
oh my.... did you also feel that aching that you can't fix it, that used to get me with you. your hurts and pains were beyond my control and capabilities. at times, you feel failure, but I am so glad that we have a God that takes care of the hurt, we don't have to. but, it is still hard being a mama when you can't FIX it, right?
ReplyDeletelove you more than words......
xoxox
mom