Rhythm

Y'all we had our first snow storm here.  While we braced for the foot plus that was forecasted I don't think we even hit more than a couple inches in our suburb.  In fact the ice was the worst of it.  Not to mention the bone chilling winds that accompanied the cold front.  All that to say I am not ready.  This is our fourth winter here and while it seems that every weather anomaly that could take place has I am unprepared.  Both mentally and physically.  

Typically by now I, I mean we, the six of us, have developed a certain rhythm of life that personifies fall and the colder months here in the frozen tundra.  At least it has been so the past couple of years.  Slower days and longer nights mean more time together.  Playing board games, cards, talking, movie watching and popcorn eating.  There has been a serious lack of that.  The rhythm I'm feeling these days is controlled chaos if you will.  And I can't discern whether that is just the season of life we are in or if there is a road block somewhere that we just can't overcome.  

Does this sound familiar to anyone else out there?  Our summer was quite the whirlwind of activity and frankly fall has been more of the same.  Husband Jared's travel schedule, Thing 4's football season, Things 1 and 2 are employed outside the home, Thing 3 had been fighting off illness for the better part of the beginning of the school year, not to mention church retreats and lock outs and, and, and.  Please don't mistake my list making for complaining.  As a family we tend to be protective of our time and I do pray that we are teaching the Things to choose wisely.  At times though the schedule and it's demands can take it's toll.   One coming and one going.  Another needing a ride.  Plans made with friends.  Plans made for extra curriculars.  Did I mention driving?  Oh and my work schedule has been sporadic, at the very best, requiring more of me than in the past.

The struggle continues.  It is nothing new.  Whether rhythm defines it or negates the situation the truth lies in recognizing.  And right now frustration with the unsettled nature of our living rhythm is what I'm experiencing.  With no foreseeable "slow down" in our immediate future the question remains, how do I manage?  Can I manage this?  Well, maybe not and maybe so.  I don't want to simply push through to the next I want to thrive.  Learn in the here and now and be present for it all.  That requires being brave and embracing this season.  Doing some self examination. That way the rhythm is found.  And it is the rhythm created for such a time is this.

What I'm realizing is the intentionality this stage of parenting, oh heck, life, requires.  The unpredictable nature of life on earth means that I cannot try to replicate what's gone before.  Sure, we may have had steadiness and quiet before but that is not our current state.  Maybe the road block I referred to is more of an unwillingness or stubbornness of my heart.  A resistance to change.  To staying the same.  Probably to  current circumstances.  And wouldn't you think that after walking with the Lord for this many years that I might understand that this is where the refining is done?  Where the clay is fired and shaped.  All for the growth.  Character building is how we refer to it in this house.  Life's lessons where we are privileged to have a Father who cares just that much.  He won't leave us or forsake us and He alone brings freedom.

Here's to handing over the reigns.  To digging in deep to this new rhythm being created and refined and molded.  By the potter Himself.  The season of change and not of circumstance.  Not what has been done before but something different and formative.  Intentional and real.  Authentic and messy and full.  To slowing down in the midst of the whirling dervish.  Connecting during the driving.  Or after school at the counter while snacking.  Staying in the room a bit longer at bed time to pray or listen.  To hearing their rhythm and stepping in line with it.  For listening and allowing the old to be swept away and carving out a place for this season with a rhythm of it's own.