A New Year

One month into 2019 and I am just now writing my happy new year post, good bye year past.  You too?  I do enjoy sliding ever so slowly into the new year.  It's just that I blinked and suddenly my eldest daughter will be twenty two, a new month in a new year will be beginning and I have yet to share my word for 2019 or my intentions and all the reflections on what was 2018.   Buckle up dear readers, here we go.

My word last year was trust.  And boy did I ever feel as though my "trust" was being tested and stretched.  I was trusting in our family's relocation decision.  I trusted that our two eldest daughters would be safe and capable of life without us stateside to help, provide housing for amongst other things.  I trusted that proximity did not determine connectedness.  I trusted that the choices that our young adult children make or have made do not necessarily reflect upon my parenting throughout the years.  I trusted that mine and Husband Jared's marriage would be made stronger having weathered yet another international move.  I trusted that it is OK to admit to having messed up as a parent.  I have trusted that when I do it does not unravel all the intentionality I have tried to live with as a mother.  I have trusted that we can do with much less stuff than we previously had.  I have trusted that Thing 4's football career is headed in exactly the right direction.  And ultimately, in all the big and seemingly minute details I have trusted that there is one far greater than I who is in control and who's omniscient being and sovereignty reigns over all in my life.  That my friends, is a whole lot of trusting.

For this year, the word I kept hearing on repeat was surrender.  In fact, heading into December of last year I was fairly certain that this would be my word.  It seemed locked down.  Then, no sooner had I begun to embrace that, it left me.  I know that sounds odd.  To say a word left me, as if it was mine to own.  I had claimed it and started to wrestle with it and here I am, nothing to show for it.  Except not knowing.  And that's where I sit as of today.  Maybe this is the year with no word.  A reminder to focus not on mere letters but the mystery of the unknown.  That about sums it up for now in the word department.

As a family, our tradition for the new year has been to gather and reflect on the previous year, our goals, accomplishments, failures, revelations, etc.  This year was no different.  I sent out a list of seven questions for everyone to answer and then we set a date and time to come together and discuss.  In addition to reflecting on the past year, we decided to begin 2019 with intentions in place of goals or resolutions.  Intentions seemed to be a more accurate picture of how we want to live.  Intentions require us to align the stories we are telling with our lives to our values.  They are more of a continual process and ideally they support what we hold in high esteem.  A certain degree of self awareness is necessary to set intentions that are unique to you and your story.  Therefore this seemed to be the best practice for us in this new year.  Coupled with the intentions are a few ways in which we will choose to live out those intentions and bring them to fruition in our lives.  This is an extremely important piece of the practice for me.  The practical, how to side of looking ahead.  I value this time we spend as a family and the time spent in preparation for it.  We vowed to have a quarterly check in with one another regarding our intentions.  Most likely one of our Face Time family meetings will fit the bill.  We'll ask some questions, offer support and prayers, specifically, celebrate wins and process defeats or set backs.  Failures are the breeding ground for growth.  At least that is what we say around here.  They are to be expected, maybe not always welcomed though.  Thankfully we have the choice to begin again.  Same with intentions.  If something isn't working change it, mix it up a bit.  Find what does.  That is a continual process. A few of my intentions included being a better student of the German language, and harnessing the power my mind holds in healing me, physically and spiritually.   And in the event you're interested here are the questions we reflected on.

1. In general, what practises worked and what didn't? Work, school, relationships, etc.
2. Spiritual revelation or stumbling block, or both?
3. Physical win, challenge or something you overcame?
4. Mental victory or hardship you experienced?
5. A book that impacted you, or a particular author
6. A person that had an impact on your life
7.  What are you most grateful for in 2018?

There you have it.  Our ideas around reflection, intentions and the new year.  It is now February and I'm hoping the slowness continues.  February calls all that is in me to focus on love, stillness, intentionality.  Sounds to me like we'll still be easing into 2019 around here.  Up next, the annual budget and planning meeting with Husband Jared.  I'm hoping it involves coffee and cake like it did last year!

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