I Just Don't Know
Within the last few days I have had several people ask me if I was ready. Of course they are referring to my upcoming trip to Honduras. I politely answer, "yes, ready and able". Ok, not really. I don't know if I'm ready. I mean how could I be? I am going to a place I've never been before. I will be asked to do things I've never done before. Most certainly I will be way outside my comfort zone. I mean way out. How does one prepare for that?
I have been physically completing tasks around the homestead so that my peeps are taken care of while I'm away. Meal planning, coordinating rides to and from training, school, etc. Printing schedules, phone numbers and sending calendar invites to Husband Jared non stop. His phone might in fact blow up. Ok, not really. None of that is terribly important. I mean, the Things will be loved. They have a week with their Daddy. Late nights, easy dinners, old movies, Wii tournaments. How much fun is that? Although last time I was away I think he taught them how to play poker. Maybe I should reconsider.
All that to say I just don't know what I am feeling right now. Ready or not. A jumbled mess of emotions and prayerful intentions. I waiver somewhere between confidence and anxiety. Sound familar? It's not a place I am comfortable with, but yet I think this experience may be about that and yet not about me at all. I struggle with these feelings but there are those that deal with much more. Maybe I can be of some service to them, even if it is just in being present and putting aside all the ME.
So, here I come. Ready or not.
I know the One who goes before and for now I will trust in that.
I have been physically completing tasks around the homestead so that my peeps are taken care of while I'm away. Meal planning, coordinating rides to and from training, school, etc. Printing schedules, phone numbers and sending calendar invites to Husband Jared non stop. His phone might in fact blow up. Ok, not really. None of that is terribly important. I mean, the Things will be loved. They have a week with their Daddy. Late nights, easy dinners, old movies, Wii tournaments. How much fun is that? Although last time I was away I think he taught them how to play poker. Maybe I should reconsider.
All that to say I just don't know what I am feeling right now. Ready or not. A jumbled mess of emotions and prayerful intentions. I waiver somewhere between confidence and anxiety. Sound familar? It's not a place I am comfortable with, but yet I think this experience may be about that and yet not about me at all. I struggle with these feelings but there are those that deal with much more. Maybe I can be of some service to them, even if it is just in being present and putting aside all the ME.
So, here I come. Ready or not.
I know the One who goes before and for now I will trust in that.
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